A New Holiday Perspective

This holiday has been hectic already!  With a brief stint in the hospital, I am beyond behind on getting things done.  Those who know me well, know that, by now, I'm usually way ahead of the game.  I have bargain hunted, and my list is complete.  Santa usually has nothing on me.  Well guess what?  I have yet to even wrap one package, and honestly, I have not even done very much shopping at all.  I currently have two trees up -- a far cry from my normal four or five.  I have no plans for hosting holiday gatherings or parties, other than our immediate little family.  I may or may not get the lights out on the front bushes, and I may or may not get everything done.  Again, those of you who know me well are probably wondering who this person is, and what has she done with the real Darlene.  

There is nothing I really need or want this Christmas.  Nothing.  Let me repeat -- nothing.  No clothes.  No jewelry.  No perfume.  Nothing.  Really.  Well, nothing, other than some time with my husband; my children; my family; and my friends.  Precious time just to sit and talk; remember and recollect; laugh and joke; watch movies or play some games; just be together.  No stress of trying to get everything done.  No worries about getting the perfect present.  Nothing.  Just being together. 

My daughter, Katie, has truly been the greatest teacher in my life.  Her simple, unassuming ways; her amazing smile; her stubborn refusal to give up; her unconditional love for anyone she meets (except her dentist while he cleans her teeth!)  Her life has been a blessing in our lives, and the lives of everyone who has ever known her. 

One of the highlights of our family's holiday season for the past ten years has been a holiday gathering hosted by Mrs. Elizabeth Cook.  Each year, Mrs. Cook, hosts a party for her son's former classmates in the special education program at Hunter's Lane High School.  She's been doing this for about twenty years, and the event has grown into a huge party of about two hundred guests.  These adults with special needs have an absolute blast, and their energy, laughter and love for one another is contagious.  Everyone has a great time!  The party is complete with a live D.J., dancing, food, gifts -- and this year -- Santa! 

As I watched the faces of these children -- now adults -- the magic was still there.  The excitement over Santa.  The joy over a small gift.  The happiness of just being together with old friends.  The smiles and laughter of just being together.  God's special children -- adult in body, but with the innocence and sweetness of children.  Joyful.  Happy.  Blessed. 

That's my new holiday perspective.  If I get the lights out, that will be fine.  If not, I'll save money on my electric bill.  It's really not that big of a deal.  If I find Jeff the perfect sweater, that will just be swell!  If not, he's got twenty more anyway!  If I get to spend time with my loved ones -- that's the real gift!  What a blessing! 

Janelle -- One of a Kind!

I cannot recall the first time I met Janelle Ferguson.  It had to be over twenty years ago, but the exact moment is not etched in my memory.  What is forever etched in that memory though, is the amazing woman Janelle was!  From her exquisite taste for clothing to her impeccable decorating style to her unbelievable artistic ability, Janelle was the epitome of the regal Southern lady.

You always knew exactly where you stood with Janelle, and there was never a doubt that she would speak her mind on a number of subjects.  There were plenty of times when I dreaded what was coming.  "Darlene, have you put on a little weight?" or "Darlene, I really am not sure that outfit is working for you!"  But more times that others, Janelle was my cheerleader.  "Darlene, you look beautiful today!"  "Darlene, you sang so pretty today!"  "Darlene, I love you!"

For years, we sat with Janelle during worship at Madison.  It was "her" pew, but she gladly accepted her "extended family" of friends in her spot and in her life.  Sundays were filled with hugs and smiles, and Janelle's love for the Lord was so apparent.  I sometimes found myself watching her worship.  Dressed beautifully on the outside, and dressed beautifully on the inside.  A song flowing from her lips; a smile beaming from her face; a hand lifting up in praise; a child's heart reaching toward her Father.

Throughout the years, I have been honored to consider Janelle's daughter, Leanne, as one of my dearest friends.  I've often said that Leanne is "who I want to be when I grow up!"  Leanne has been my sister, my friend, and my rock for more years that I care to remember.  She is actually the person who encouraged me to become a teacher at the ripe old age of 44!  She has always believed in me, and I love her for that!  Leanne is the amazing, Godly woman that she is, because of the way she was raised by Janelle and Burt Ferguson.  What a legacy!  I was also honored to sing with Janelle's son, Roger, for many years.  A talented musician, singer and man of God, Roger is also a testamentary of the love and care of fine parents.  

Years and years of painting murals throughout the church house halls; hoards of costumes designed for Summer Spectaculars and other dramas; hours of conversations, laughter and tears;  so many good times, and so many good memories.  The most momentous costume ever was a set of angel wings made for Roger.  Janelle crafted beautiful feathery wings of white for an "angelic" Roger for an Easter drama.  Unfortunately, the first words out of my young Colton's mouth at the sight of angel Roger, was "he looks like a chicken!"  So, Roger became known, at least around our house, as the chicken angel! 

Several years ago, as Janelle's health began to fail, I asked her to paint a picture for our home.  Painstakingly, Janelle planned the colors, textures, and overall theme of the painting.  When I went to pick it up, it literally took my breath away.  She smiled, and she told me I would always have a part of her with me.  So true.  I have a constant reminder of Janelle every that I walk through our den.  I also have a constant reminder of Janelle with almost every thought today. 

Today, Janelle has laid down her burdens; her paint brush is no longer beautifying a blank canvas; her physical body is no longer alive; her laughter and her voice have been quieted; her constant motion has been stilled.

Today, Janelle is with the Lord.  Her soul is worshiping in another place.  Her spirit is with the angels.  Her journey is complete, and her race is won.  She is where we all yearn to be "one day."  But Janelle's "one day" was today.

There is sadness, and there is a void.  There is also a happiness and release in knowing that Janelle's ninety-two years were but a vapor in this life.  Her eternity began around 8 AM this morning.  I have no doubt that Janelle is touring Heaven and walking those golden streets.  I also have no doubt that she is already envisioning how her mansion can be re-decorated!

Janelle was one of a kind!  Never has been one like her, and never will be again.  Love to all the Ferguson family!  What a lady! 

My Mother, My Friend

Eight years ago today, you went away--
You left a void that is still here today.

God called you home, and I had no choice.
What I would give, just one more time to hear your voice.

Eight birthdays, eight holidays, without you at our family table,
Eight years without mother/daughter nights, shopping QVC on cable.

You were more than a mother, you were my very best friend.
You taught me how to be tough, but you also taught me to bend.

You loved Jeff so much, just like your own son,
You chose him for me first, and convinced me not to run!
Katie was your angel; Colton your "buster"; and Conner, your "kingfisher".
You were a Nanna like no other; no sir, mister.

You never saw Conner get up on stage,
or heard the songs he now writes on a blank page.

You never saw Colton play college ball
or saw him graduate, walking so tall.

You never saw Katie really come into her own,
A young lady now, watching videos on an iPhone.

But you are still alive and well in my heart,
Some days it's almost like we've never been apart.

Other days it's like you were never really here,
Forgetting your laughter is something that I fear.

But Jeff says that will never be.
Each day more of you is becoming me.

He sees you in my smile, and in my face,
He sees you in my walk, and even in my pace.

He hears you in my voice, and my laughter, too.
He tells me often, that I'm becoming so much like you.

So, a part of you left, but a part of you will remain.
But life without you, has truly never been the same.

I miss you, Mother, and I always will--
Sometimes, I think you're with me, if I am very still.

I hope you have a mansion in glory, and crusing those golden streets in a big, shiny Caddy--
But most of all, I know you are happy, because you are with my Daddy.

So until that day when we meet again,
I'll always love you dearly, MY MOTHER, MY FRIEND. 

Aunt Gladys

I remember the first time I met Gladys Harper.  It was the spring of 1984, and I had begun dating a really sweet guy from North Carolina. I made the trip over the mountains with him to meet his family for the very first time.  And boy, what a family!  Jeff's mom was one of ten children, complete with spouses, children and grandchildren.  I remember worshiping that first Sunday at Warner's Chapel and meeting most of the family there.  I'd never seen as many "family" members all together welcoming a young Tennessee girl into their midst! 

One particular aunt and uncle I met that day were Jim and Gladys Harper.  Jeff had told me how special they had been all during his life.  He had told me how Jim and Gladys loved their family.  Jim and Gladys had no children of their own, so they "adopted" many others in very special ways.  Jim was "Santa" for years at the annual Harper Christmas party.  Jim and Gladys selflessly helped nieces and nephews go to college -- Jeff was one of these.  Jim and Gladys took on the daunting task of planning the yearly Harper reunions in Gatlinburg, and they did it because of their love for this family.  And their family loved them right back!  Katie, Colton and Conner all loved their great Uncle Jim and Aunt Gladys.  Colton still has the little guitar that Santa Jim gave him when he was about four years old. 

Jim and Gladys loved everyone.  Jeff and I would make sure to visit with them when we would be in North Carolina.  They both loved to talk, and could spend hours recounting things from the past.  Their home was open to anyone, and it was a place of peace, happiness and smiles.  You rarely entered into their home that Gladys didn't have some wonderful concoction cooking in the kitchen.

Jim and Gladys loved God.  They both served tirelessly in various mission efforts and were a mainstay in the Warner's Chapel congregation in Clemmons, North Carolina.  I'll always remember their "pew" in the building because that's where they could always be found if the Warner's Chapel family was together.

Katie wasn't quite sure what to think of Aunt Gladys on Halloween!

Jim and Gladys loved life.  They enjoyed life to the fullest and had fun.  From dressing up on Halloween to working in their beautiful yard, Jim and Gladys lived life.  Even in later years, with health failing, they continued to get out and just "do" what they could.  

Jim and Gladys loved each other.  When Gladys began dealing with dementia many years ago, Jim took care of her.  He guided her and showed patience and understanding as his sweet wife's memory faded.  God's plan was for Jim to go to his eternity before Gladys, and she was absolutely lost without Jim.  Although she didn't understand completely, Gladys just knew Jim was gone.  She somehow contented herself, and with the loving care of family -- particularly her two nieces Leslie and Beverly, Gladys lived the remaining years of her life well cared for and loved.  I think she knew in her heart that one day she'd be back with her beloved Jim.

Last night, Aunt Gladys left us.  According to Leslie, she left in peace and quiet.  That was Gladys' way in life, and that was Gladys' way in death.  My heart smiles this morning to think about the Father and Jim welcoming Gladys to her reward; welcoming a good and faithful servant, whose race is finished and prize is won.  Sending love to all the family in North Carolina and Tennessee. 

50 years – ANTIQUE? Not quite!

Today, as I approach a big birthday milestone, in my mind, I don’t feel old.  My kids have teased me that turning 50 makes me an antique.  According to the true definition of antique, they are mistaken!  By definition, an antique is an object that represents a previous era or time period in human society. It is common practice to define antique as applying to objects at least 100 years old. Antiques are usually objects that show some degree of craftsmanship—or a certain attention to design, such as a desk or an early automobile.  While I will admit, that I do show some degree of craftsmanship, I will gladly pass on the label of “antique” for a few more years! 

There have been numerous changes in our country, family life, and technology during the last fifty years. Miranda Lambert has a current song called Automatic.  Her lyrics refer to Sun Tea in the window; clothes drying on a line; cassette tapes recording the country countdown; crank windows in cars; and quarter pay phones.  These are things about which our kids today would have little knowledge.  Those are things of MY generation.  I remember my parents and grandparents talking about simpler times of their generations.  I always enjoyed hearing their stories of a simpler and less busy time.  Now I have my own stories that I’m sure my kids tire of hearing!  Oh, well, I’m going to tell them anyway!  I’m almost 50!  I’ve earned it! 

Turning 50 is a time for celebration of the past and contemplation of the future.  I remember each decade with fondness.  My first decade was one of innocence and play.  Days of summer lingered forever!  Running barefoot all day, and my mother scrubbing the dirt off my feet in my evening bath!  Afternoons filled with chocolate chip cookies and cornbread baking in my Granny’s oven.  Laughter and silliness defined playtime with my cousins.  Sweet times in Daddy’s lap on the riding lawn mower, and his legendary tickle-fests are forever etched in my mind.  Cloudy memories of the loss of two grandparents and beloved pets were the only indications that “growing up” might not be all it was cracked up to be. 

School memories and friends ushered in my second decade!  Fun times and frolics quickly packed days of school and nights of slumber parties, movies, phone calls (for hours!) , cars and concerts!  Time seemed to stand still, and time seemed to run away.  High school graduation came before I knew it, and college was on the horizon.  I was reminded that life is short with the loss of friends taken too young.  I lost my sweet grandmother and my daddy during this decade.  Yes, I was growing up, and at many times, I just didn’t really want to.

The 20’s arrived with a new young man in my life that would end up being my very best friend, my husband, and the father of my children!  Graduation from college, marriage, the loss of my grandfather Carvell, and the birth of my sweet Katie – all would be part of a very busy time in my life!   We purchased our first home in Madison, and it seemed like life couldn’t get any better!  

Colton and Conner entered my life during my 30’s, and life became sweeter than ever! Days of playtime, pool time, and potty time took up much of this decade!  Being a mommy was indeed my very favorite part of this time in my life!  I experienced love for these children like I had never imagined.  My precious husband and family were such gifts, and I thanked God for them!  Trips and travel made sweet memories!  Baseball games and beach trips framed this decade!  The loss of my sweet fourth child reminded me again that life is painful, and sometimes you just have to rely on faith to get you through those painful times. 

Before I could turn around, the 40s rolled in with a huge surprise party, friends and fun!  My mid-life crisis arrived in the form of a career change!  Teaching took over as an important part of my life!  It was what I was meant to do – and I did it – even if it was a little late!  I lost weight.  I gained weight.  I lost it again, and unfortunately found it AGAIN!  Such is life in menopause!  I entered into the world of social media.  I post on facebook; I tweet; I blog!  Whooda thunk??  Jeff remains the love of my life, and I love him more now than I ever have!  My baby girl is now an adult, living on her own in a group home with more independence that I would have ever thought possible.  My red-haired little fella won a state baseball championship his senior year of high school, and is now working hard pursuing sports management in college!  (Go, Vols!) My little brown-eyed cowboy is now an aspiring country singer and songwriter, and is just amazing!  Peaks and valleys during this decade brought lots of laughter and floods of tears.  The temporary nature of life showed greatly during this time with the loss of my in-laws, aunts, uncles, and my sweet Mother.  For the first time in my life, my heart truly began to look toward eternity with a new freshness.  In reality, my life was half over, and death wasn’t nearly as scary as it had been in my youth.  I don’t necessarily want to go today, but I know one day I will.  And that’s okay.  That’s God’s plan for me.  This world really isn’t my home – I am just passing through.  Mr. and Mrs. Sweet, Aunt Barbara, Aunt Margaret, Uncle Larry, Granny, Poppa, Nanny, Uncle Herbert, Uncle Jim, Aunt Alta, Uncle L.T., Aunt Mildred, Jan, Guy, Ryan, Mother and Daddy and so many others -- are waiting for me!  And that’s a good thing!

So now, here come the 50s.  It’s automatic, and I can’t stop it!  I don’t know that I would, even if I could.  I don’t know what the future holds, but I do know that God holds my future.  If He’s in control, I’ll just sit back for the trip!  I’m thankful for the all the memories – good and bad – of these first fifty years.  Every wrinkle; every scar; every ache and pain – has made me who I am.

Happy birthday – to me!  I can honestly say I am happy!  I love life!  I love MY life!  I love ME!  I’m not perfect, and I’m not trying to be!  I’ve made many mistakes in those first 50 years.  Mistakes that hurt people; mistakes that hurt me; mistakes I cannot undo.  I’m sorry for those, and I’ve learned from them!  I’m sure I will make more mistakes, so I will apologize in advance! 

I’m not sure I’m ready for the next 50 years, but I better get ready!  In 50 more years, my kids really will be able to call me an ANTIQUE!  Well, let the fun begin!  

 

Think 50 is gonna be NIFTY!!