Katie, Colton, Conner & Jeff

Katie, Colton, Conner & Jeff
My soul mate, Jeff, and Katie, Colton and Conner, the three gifts from God that call me "Mom"

Thursday, February 4, 2016

For Lexi

Writing has become such an outlet for me.  When I'm happy, I write.  When I'm sad, I write.  I just write. 

This week has been one of the hardest in my life.  On Tuesday, I sat with one of my dearest friends in an absolute nightmare.   I held her hand and rubbed her back, as life support measures were removed from her sweet nineteen year old daughter.  I saw first hand the worst fear that any parent has, and it will be with me for the rest of my life.

This baby girl was so wanted.  She was so loved.  She was such a blessing.  I hope she knows the effect that she had on the world.  The lives that she touched in her short time on this earth.

Tonight we will celebrate the life of Faith Alexis Wade.  There will be tears.  There will be laughter.  There will be unbelievable sadness, and there will be joy.  We have love because of FAITH.  We have hope because of FAITH.  Our sweet FAITH may be gone, but our faith in a loving Father, our hope in Jesus Christ, and our love for one another will sustain us in the coming days.

So, Lexi, this is for you.  Your "Darlena" wrote this the night you left us, earlier this week.  

 
“In a While”
(For Lexi)

So tonight, as the rain pours down,
My heart is broken; my tears fall to the ground.
The thought of you being gone is just too surreal. 
I don’t know what to think.  I don’t know what to feel.

The darkness came so quickly, and the sun went away.
What I wouldn’t give for a small glimpse of yesterday.
There you’d be -- that little girl with flowing, strawberry curls,
China skinned legs, with lacy socks, adorned with beautiful pearls.

Sitting sweetly in the church pew, up on your daddy’s lap --
Or snuggled close with your precious mommy, taking a little nap.
You’d be splashing in the backyard, or shopping at the mall;
Trick or treating in the park, or at camp, playing whiffle ball.

So many things left unsaid, undone.
So many things finished, really before they’d begun.
Nineteen years to be part of my heart –
Loving you from today, all the way back to the start.

That little girl, with those big, bright eyes, grew up and went away.
Oh, for just one more hour of hugs – Oh, for just one more day. 
But life was just too much for you – Too much for you to take.
Too hard to keep under control -- The ups and downs of life, they took their toll

Who knew the “best day of your life” would simply be your last –
There would be no more time for a future, but only memories of the past. 
So I will trust that there’s a reason that God took you home –
I’ll trust you’re at peace, and you are not alone.

You are with all the loved ones and friends that have gone on before –
They were waiting to welcome you at the waves of Heaven’s shore –
Where there is no more pain, and there is no more grief.
Where there’s only perfect joy and welcoming relief.

And so I stay here, left behind, without you, baby girl.
I’m not sure how to go on living, without you in this world.
But I know that I will somehow, because you will always be in my heart.
And one day in Heaven, I know then we will never more part.

So until then, my angel, soar high and be free.
This earth’s chains are gone – you’ve entered eternity --
So sit and talk with God, and smile your pretty smile –
And know that I’ll see you again, in a while.  






1 comment:

  1. this is so beautiful and I know Viv will treasure it always.

    ReplyDelete