Today we seem to "love" everything. The use of the word has almost become trivial. We love to shop! We love to play Xbox! We love that new little restaurant down on the corner! Our young people today say "I love you" so quickly--without realizing what it means. They are "in love" with one person this week, and "out of love" the next. I realize that is all part of the "growing up" experience, but as adults, I think maybe we need to set a better example. Love is so complex, and yet, so simple in many ways.
There are four basic kinds of "love" that are derived from various words of ancient languages. "Storge" (pronounced stor-gay) is a familial type of love. Any parent understands this kinds of love the very first time you hold your newborn baby. It is a self-sacrificing, unconditional love with those with whom we share a family bond. It is the love that drives a mother to get up for those 2 a.m. feedings. It is the love that drives a father to throw that ball to his son again and again. after a long day's work. Family love is the unique bond shared within a family unit. This is not always a "blood relation." "Family" and the love associated with it come in many packages today. From grandparents raising grandchildren to single parent households, family and home are where you know you are going to be loved --no matter what is going on in your life.
"Eros" is an emotional love, often related to those with whom we share our most intimate relationship--our spouse. It is the physical relationship that comes from our God-given longings and desires. This type of love within the marriage relationship is indeed a gift from the Father, and it should not be cheapened by experiencing it outside of marriage--the way God intended it to be.
"Philia" refers to the love found in friendship. It has been said that our friends are the ones that know us best, and love us in spite of it. Friends often serve as encouragers and counselors. I've often said, I don't know how anyone survives in this life without a huge network of friends. I have friends with whom I have shared wonderful times and horrific tragedy. Friends with whom I have shared laughter and tears. We sometimes joke about how much we know about one another! Friendship is another wonderful gift in our lives!
"Agape" love is a self-less love for other people. This type of love puts others' needs before our own. This is the Christ-like sacrificial love that sometimes is difficult to have for others. In a "barter" society, we have re-written the "golden rule" to be more of "I'll do for you, IF you do for me." Agape love is a type of love is may not often be seen, but is surely something that is needed in the world today.
All four of these types of love go way beyond a simple gift of flowers or Valentine's Day card. It is amazing that in my life, I have seen all of the types of love evidenced by so many people. It is amazing what love can do:
- Love can overcome addictions
- Love can forgive ANY wrongdoing
- Love can heal scars of childhood sexual abuse
- Love can save unborn babies
- Love can manage mental illness
- Love can salvage a broken marriage
- Love can forgive shame and public embarrassment
- Love can deal with a diagnosis of terminal cancer
- Love can overcome the challenges of a disability
- Love can conquer almost anything this life throws at us
In just as many situations, I have witnessed love (or the lack thereof) not being able to conquer these things. Sometimes love just isn't enough. That's when we have to rely on God's love.
I Corinthians 13 has always been one of my favorite chapters of the Bible. My precious 4th grade teacher, Margaret Meador, had us memorize this many years ago. There are a great number of things in the chapter that have helped sustain me during my life.
Knowing that "now I only know in part; I only see partially, like looking through a glass". Believing that someday I will understand the "big picture", and I will be known fully. And at last, I will fully know at that time also!
Remembering that love is not boastful; is not egotistical; is not self-seeking; is not easily angered or provoked. Remembering that love keeps no record of wrongs. No "I told you so's" needed in a loving relationship. Remembering this is one thing. Putting it into daily practice is quite another--at least for me, sometimes.
Knowing that possessing faith, hope and love is something for which I must strive. Knowing that love is the greatest of these. Knowing that in order to be loved, I need to love--just as Christ loved me.
So let's "like' chocolate chip cookies! Let's "like" that new living room furniture! Let's "like" taking a trip to the beach! But let's LOVE one another!
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