My "Sweet" Valentine!

(This is sort of a continuation of Doors and Windows . . . )

When you lose anyone you love, it is difficult.  When you lose someone to suicide, you are never the same.   The unanswered questions.  The thoughts of "if only's" and "what if's" cloud your mind constantly.  The thoughts of what could have been or should have been. 

I faced all of that when I lost my dad to suicide in 1984.  God put Jeff Sweet into my life because He knew the big picture.  He knew the big plan, and He knew that Jeff would be what I needed for then--and for always.

So many times, we don't understand God's plans--particularly when we are in the middle of it.  However, sometimes when we look back later--maybe years later--it all fits together.  It fits together like a carefully thought out puzzle.  The gray and black and white mingled together into a palette of beautiful color!  

And it wasn't just God.  It was my mother.  She saw something in Jeff that I did not see.  (And fought not to see for a while!)  She constantly told me what a "sweet" (literally) boy he was.  He was so mature for his age!  Blah! Blah! Blah!  I would call home on the weekend, and she would ask me to guess who was visiting her!  JEFF!  He had stopped by with a Baskin-Robbins' milkshake for her!  This didn't happen just once--he was visiting her alot!  I really thought he might have a thing for older women!  She insisted that he was just a fine young man, and he was just concerned about her! 

I still thought it was weird!  But in a few weeks, I started realizing that she was right.  He was a very kind and compassionate person.  The neatest thing was the fact he was taking time to visit with a woman who had just lost her husband in a very tragic way.   That wasn't really weird--it was pretty special.  Before long, if my call found Jeff at my house, I'd ask my mom to keep him there until I could get there! 

The writing was pretty soon on the wall, and I started seeing Jeff as part of my present and hopefully my future!  He has always laughed and joked that he loved my mom before me!  And she loved him dearly!  She took his side much more often than mine through the years! 

We had a whirlwind romance!  We were engaged before I knew it!  We married a year later, and that has now been almost 26 years ago. 

Those years have been filled with a lot of happy times, and some not so happy times.  Births of three children; trips to Disney World; new homes; vacations at the beach; baseball games; great times with family and friends; a sweet baby girl diagnosed with cerebral palsy; a miscarriage of a much wanted 4th child; the loss of my precious mother; the death of Jeff's dad; the years of Alzheimer's with Jeff's sweet mother before her death.  Lots of good times and some not so good.
 
I'm thankful that God chose Jeff to be in my life.  He has been my soul mate, and there is no other person that would have been better for the job! 

Tonight, our church family celebrated marriage by a mass renewal of vows by many couples.  Some of us had been married twenty years or so.  Others were just youngsters.  Some had been married over fifty years.  As we all recited those familiar words again, tears welled up in my eyes.  For better or worse; in sickness and in health; in prosperity and adversity.  "I do"--and I did, and I would do it all again!  This was in honor of Valentine's Day, but it occurred to me, that I get to celebrate this love EVERYDAY--not just on February 14th! 

Hallmark has a commercial out for the holiday talking about "celebrating us"!  That is something married couples need to do often.  Too many times, we let life get in the way.  We let the stress of life take a toll on our relationship.  God ordained marriage, and we give Him honor by loving our mates!  (Yes, even when they or we are unlovable!) 

So as we celebrate Valentine's Day tomorrow, I don't need candy, romance, or long-stemmed roses!  I know that I am loved by my husband.  That's better than all the candles, flowers or Godiva in the world!  (But the Tacori bracelet he got me ain't bad!!)